


A shattering reality

by Drarry_Gryffindork



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:34:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8945599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drarry_Gryffindork/pseuds/Drarry_Gryffindork
Summary: Draco wonders what this feeling is. The feeling of panic always eminating in his stomach. If harry potter can deal with all that's gone on, its sure as hell that Draco can too. Or at least that's what he tells himself.





	

It had been a year since the battle of Hogwarts, and everyone who had fought in the battle had gone there separate ways. Dispersed through out the magical world. The minister of magic had made a deal with everyone who fought in the war. A deal to give them jobs as Aurors even though they had no N.E.W.T scores on record. There where the few such as Hermione granger and Draco Malfoy though who where simply not satisfied with a life as an Auror. These few where granted the option if wanted of an eighth year at hogwarts, an opertunity to finish the education that was so unfairly taken from them. Draco Malfoy in particular did not like the idea of spending the rest of his life chasing people that he had once called friends and family. He wanted a peaceful existence something he had never once had the chance at. Not something that would torment his memory's everyday. After the war Draco's mind was a jungle of chaos and despair, a jungle he so wished to tame and calm. And he had decided a complete magical education was his best shot at one day finally calming the noise inside his head.  
..... 

As the train stopped at the docking station over looking the black lake Draco's stomach flipped with despair. The mere sight of Hogwarts turned his insides into knots. Memory's flashed back to him. Harry Potter and him dulling in the bathroom in sixth year. The image of his own body cut and bloodied, his blood seeping into the drains of hogwarts. Then there was Dumbledore standing at the top of the clock tower the tip of Dracos wand pointed at his heart. Dumbledore with a fate Draco simply could not carry out. The worst though was the memory of Harry. His body limp and lifeless in Hagrids arms, His black messy hair even more dishevled than usual. Draco could feel the memory of his breath being taken away, feel the need to run to the boy and cling to him even though he had pretended to hate him all those dreadful years.  
The train whistle pulled Draco back to reality. Kids started shuffling out of the train. Smiley first years pushing past who had know clue what had happened just the previous year. Draco stepped of the train scanning his surroundings there were very few eighth years, all though there were quite a few returning Slytherin's such as himself. Apparently they as well had not been to pleased with the Auror offer.  
The next thing Draco new he was standing in front of the black lake about to board the boats that had taken him to school so many times before. This time though the lake had an evil feeling emanating from it's depths. Draco had never liked water since he had fallen into the lake behind Malfoy manor as a boy. He had almost died before being rescued by a house elf who could barley swim it's self. He had always found his way past the feeling though, it was troubling to struggle with it so much now. Draco had noticed that after the war evreything had started to seem so much worse than before. Evreything was dark and the littlest things set him on edge.

Draco looked down into the lake thinking about all the terrible things that had gone on in its presence. He shivered pulling his cloak tighter around him. People started boarding the boats. The sound of squealing exited children over ridding his senses. He stepped into a boat after Panzy Parkinson and sat down next to her. She looked over at draco who was trembling. 

"Drake you okay?" A name only panzy used for him. 

"I'm fine don't worry." he demanded trying to act as if evreything was okay.

A lot of people had been struggling, not just draco. What gave him the right to act like such a baby. Harry potter had endured an extensive stay in Saint Mungle after the hucrux in his head almost made him go insane. Draco hadn't endured anything close to that. Apparently Hermione had convinced even him an Ron to come back with her. even though harry was a utter mess and intended on being an Auror. If someone who had it as bad off as Harry could deal an come back even with the offer of a job, draco could deal as well. Or at least that's what he told himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a very special friend of mine on Tumblr you should go follow thefangirl2000. There is much more to come


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